


Anxietic

by Ailurum



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Buttsex, College AU, Human AU, M/M, Oh dickings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2014-08-16
Packaged: 2018-02-10 16:49:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2032497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailurum/pseuds/Ailurum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sollux was your everyday shut in that kept himself busy with his education and his work, keeping himself in a shell where he was comfortable. He soon learns that it can also get quite lonely in there. Smut in later chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Egg

It was only nine in the morning and the day had already started to mould into something less pleasant. A young man with unruly black hair stared at the luminescent computer screen that cut into the dark room, creating silhouettes and shadows of the man and the surrounding furniture. It was plainly obvious that the man hadn't slept, desk cluttered with energy drinks from multiple different brands: Monster, Rock Star, even a few cans of Pussy. And if that wasn't enough proof, the dark bags under the man's eyes were startling, though the light from the monitor covered that up pretty well.

His name was Sollux Captor, a hard working individual with little to no social life outside of his work, which happened to be coding for up-and-coming companies which enjoyed setting ungodly close deadline dates. But it gave him money to live. Why this was ruining the day? Sollux also went to college to study computer science. He had an hour and a half to sleep and get ready for the day.

With a groan and a stretch, Sollux found the will power to get out of his seat. He scanned the room briefly, his different coloured eyes having been used to the only light being his monitor. Laying on the coffee table was his phone – It was old and had cracks running in every direction like lightning strikes. Either way, the phone worked, and he moved over to grab it, flipping through multiple screens until he got to the alarm. Half an hour of sleep, and then he had to get ready to look decent in this over judgemental society.

Without further ado, he ceremoniously flopped onto the couch, closing his eyes and drifting into a seemingly endless slumber ...

The dreams he had were vivid. Sollux had long figured out how to lucid dream, but that didn't mean he could control it every time. Some nights were worse than others. Endless seas of monsters flew across his unconscious mind, gaining ever closer to destroying. Destroying what, though? He didn't know. The only thing he did know was that they were to destroy. Chaotic destruction throughout.

In his dream, his body turned to see a door. It was just a standard door, but something was banging on it, loud and persistent. Sollux panicked, wondering what kind of beast was behind this door, a door he had never seen before. It looked ready to break the door, cracks appearing in the wood, and just then-

“Sollux Captor, open this damned door!”

The man rose quickly from the couch, panting horribly and eyes widened. He looked over to the front door and groaned. He sat up some more and put his face into his hands, calming himself down and rubbing slightly. So there really was a beast behind the door, but not the one he was thinking of. With the constant banging giving him a headache, he pushed himself up and opened it, revealing the source of misery: Karkat Vantas.

Karkat was slightly shorter than Sollux, but with that shortness came a more hot tempered personality just packed into it. Unlike Sollux, Karkat's hair was naturally unruly, and it looked great on him. Sollux's hair was too short for the 'messy' look, which is why he often used hairspray and the likes.

“What do you want, Vantath?” Sollux lisped, leaning on the door frame as he looked down at his more pissed off looking friend.

“What do you mean what do I want? It's Almost ten thirty and I haven't heard so much as a text from you!”

Confused, Sollux looked over to his still lit up monitor to see in big numbers the time (and the weather) 10:23 AM. His eyes widened and he cursed as he left Karkat at the door, grabbing his phone and seeing that his alarm _did_ go off. He must have been too tired to actually wake up. This wouldn't have been the first time it's happened.

Without saying a word to Karkat, Sollux walked through his apartment towards his bedroom to throw on whatever he could and attempt to sort out his hair. He went with his black straight leg pants, a black top with red and blue under sleeves, and his DC's which he just slipped on effortlessly. Before he forgot, he grabbed his glasses. He didn't _need_ glasses, he just preferred to have them rather than not. Once he got to the mirror, he combed down his hair, using almost a full canister of hairspray to keep it down before heading back to Karkat, who had clealry dealt with this before.

“Let'th go.” Sollux muttered to Karkat, passing him up and grabbing his shoulder bag as well as the house keys, locking the door when they were both out.

–

Later that day, a little past 5th period, Sollux was fumbling with his bag while walking down one of the long, too-white of hallways to leave for home. However, fate wouldn't be that kind to him and he was suddenly in the presence of company. An arm was quickly slung over his shoulders, a body pressed against his side, and legs awkwardly bumping into each other making it difficult to walk, but not impossible.

“I w-was thinking, Sol, that I never see you any more. You coulda been dead for all I knew.”  
  
Ah yes. The speech impediment made it all the more obvious who it was: Eridan Ampora. So far, he was the only 'out' guy that he knew of at the college. It was hard to believe that they were best friends, considering Sollux had dated his cousin and broke her heart not long after. Feferi had always been a sweet girl, and she never took it badly. She was very supportive, actually. But back to the matter at hand …

“Hop off my dick, Ampora. I've been buthy.” Sollux replied, using his hips to bump Eridan away from him a little, enough so they could walk without looking like they were doing some strange tango.

“You're _alw-ways_ busy. Come on. Take me up on my offer already.”

“No, Eridan.” Sollux sighed.

Soon enough, he found himself pinned to the wall, tripping over Eridans feet. Well, he wasn't _pinned_ per say. If anything, Eridan had always been a gentlemen. Eridan's arm was leaning against the wall next to Sollux' head, elbow barely touching his shoulder, Eridan's other hand giving hand gestures to go along with his words. For now, Sollux was trying to calm himself down from the shock of almost falling.

“I know you're single. I know you're gay,” Eridan said that in a more hushed down tone. Sollux huffed slightly. The only reason Eridan knew Sollux was gay was because he _demanded_ a reason from Feferi of why Sollux broke up with her. Mentally, Sollux regretted giving her the truthful reason, “So just _try_ me, Sol. Give me _o-one_ chance.”

Sollux finally straightened his feet, sighing and averting his gaze from Eridan's, “Look, I …” Sollux didn't know what to say. He had shook off Eridan every time he asked, “I can't. I'm too buthy to be dating right now.” Sollux' voice had gone down to a mumble, not wanting anyone to overhear, “I'm thorry.”

The sigh Eridan gave was all the more horrific, since the man was clearly used to this. Sollux felt a little uncomfortable, but Eridan moved away, taking a step back and giving him a smile, “Nah, it's fine, Sol. Maybe one day.”

Sollux nodded, but he wasn't making any promises. And so, they parted ways, only to have the still slightly dishevelled Sollux get ambushed by another. A Karkat to be precise.

“Why don't you just accept? It'd do you some fucking good.” Karkat said, leaning against the wall, arms crossed and looking worried yet angry at the same time. Only Karkat could pull that off. Sollux stopped, groaning.

“What I do and don't do with people ith no one'th buthineth. I need the money and I'm _not_ going to uthe Eridan for that.” Sollux kept walking, but at a slower pace for Karkat to walk with him. They didn't live too far from each other so they end up walking home a lot to the point it was just a habit.

“ _That's_ your reason? Fuck, man, _I_ need money, but I got a part time job at a shitty fast food restaurant. And _still_ have a girlfriend.”

“No need to rub it in, KK.”

“I'm serious here. You just don't wanna date Vampora.”

“It'th not that!” Sollux sighed, calming himself down, “I'm not … I don't _do_ romanthe. I'm not exthactly boyfriend material.” Cliché as that line was, he figured it true. Anyone deserved anyone better than Sollux. He watched Karkat just shake his head, looking a little more sympathetic.

“You're going to have that stop you at getting happiness? What if Eridan was … _The one_.”

“Ha! Theriouthly? Uthing 'the one' on me ith gonna change my mind?” Sollux laughed a little but shook his head, “I jutht don't want to dithappoint him. Or anyone.”

They had finally made it outside, the two stopping to adjust to the sun. Sollux turned back to Karkat, “Really KK, I'm fine.”

Karkat seemed to think about that for a short while, “Prove it.” Was his only words.

“Thorry?”  
  
“Prove it. Go on _one_ date with the stuck up prince of the sea. And if it doesn't work out, I'll shut the fuck up about you and your undead life.”

Sollux groaned heavily, placing one of his hands on his hip, the other slapped on his face, head tilted down, “KK, pleathe don't do thith.”  
  
“Why not?” Karkat argued back. He looked relaxed, like he wasn't trying to be pushy because he _wanted_ to be pushy. Sollux knew Karkat only looked out for him. Sollux couldn't be more grateful that he had a friend like that. And because of how many time's Karkat has saved his ass, he couldn't bring himself to argue against him.

“... Fine. I'll athk him over textht or thomething.” He muttered, hand having moved to his neck, rubbing the back of it nervously. He hadn't been in the dating program for a year and a half now. The last person he dated was a man named Dave Strider. A tanned, blonde haired apple juice freak. Dave ended up moving with his brother, Dirk. He still kept in contact with him, but the mere fact that Sollux wasn't good at dating in person. Why would he be better over the internet?

Karkat smiled, patting Sollux on the back, “There you go. Now let's go already. My balls are sweating themselves off.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! This is a trial and error sort of story, so I'll update if it's good enough to you guys, I suppose XD


	2. Larva

The night, Sollux had sent the preview of the code he had been working on, and now he just had to wait until they got back to him, so he decided to retreat to bed. Walking into the dark room, he flopped backwards onto the mattress, sighing out happily before begrudgingly shifting himself over so he was actually laying in bed.   
  
Oh. Right. He slipped out his phone from his jeans pocket and winced as the sudden light killed his eyesight just that little bit more. Once used to it, he scrolled through a few screens and down his contacts list until he saw Eridans number.   
  
“Should I send him a text? No, that's too impersonal … But calling would be _too_ personal.” He thought it over for a few seconds more before he decided to be the impersonal, social outcast that he was. With a few taps of the screen, he finally sent the text.   
  
_'hey 2orry iit2 late. wa2 wonderiing iif you would by chance go on a date wiith me 2ometiime'_  
  
The deed had been done. Sollux finally let out a breath and closed his eyes. Maybe Eridan was asleep and he won't get the message until tomorrow? Well, then he'd have to deal with the response in person at the college. He didn't know which would be better. An all too familiar tone chimed from his phone. He didn't even need to look to know he replied, but he checked anyway.   
  
_> 'are you kiddin sol a course i wwould. i thought you wwerent interested though'_  
  
 _'turn2 out iim a2kiing you now. dont read two hard iintwo iit'  
  
> 'so wwhens the date'_  
  
 _'ii wa2 kiinda hopiing you would 2et that up'_  
  
He didn't get a reply for a good two minutes.  
  
 _> 'wwill do sol. lets make it this wweekend. wwill discuss in the mornin. see you'_  
  
 _'2ee you'_  
  
Sollux felt exhausted. It didn't feel like a conversation at all, which is why Eridan probably ended it like that. Texting really _was_ impersonal. He lay his arms either side of him, phone abandoned somewhere on the bed. Finally, maybe he could get a good nights rest. Closing his eyes, he tried not to think about what tomorrow may bring.   
  
–  
  
The next day, Sollux was sat in the cafeteria, playing around on his phone when he heard someone pull up a chair opposite him. Looking up only revealed it to be Karkat and his girlfriend Terezi, who sort of cackled as she sat down.  
  
“Dear little Sollux. All alone in this enormous cafeteria, and not a bite to eat! Very suspicious, Captor. What do you have to say for yourself?”  
  
Terezi was an odd one. She was blind, but you'd never of guessed it seeing how she manages to know exactly where you are before you've even said a word. As said before, she's Karkat's girlfriend. Karkat had been pining for her for years before they finally got together, and the two were happy with that. You know. Good for them, sort of thing.  
  
Sollux gave a small huff, “If you mutht know, I'm jutht waiting for my nextht clath. An hour to kill, I came here. Am I accthidentally thitting where the Jury should be or thomething?” He asked with a small grin on his face. Another thing about Terezi was she was bat-shit insane for the law, and even more so for the dark, grim side of it. It was amusing at times.   
  
“Yes. Exactly.” She said, looking serious before laughing again. Karkat spoke up next.  
  
“Have you spoken to Eridan yet?” he asked, taking a bite of his sandwich. Pickle and cheese … The odour was almost sickening.   
  
“Uh … Yeth and no.” Sollux said, vaguely waving a hand in the air, “I texthted him latht night.” Karkat looked on at Sollux as if he was expecting more, raising an eyebrow and making motions with his head and free hand to keep going. He knew something was up and Sollux didn't even have to say anything, “And I might have been avoiding him thinthe.”  
  
“... Are you fucking kidding me? You don't just _ask someone out_ and then _avoid them_. That's the number one rule about dating a person! I thought you had common sense.”  
  
“I know, I know! _Fuck_ , I'm just … _Shit_.” Sollux couldn't get his words in order. His head just wasn't right, not now anyway. He was scared. He put his forehead to the table and sighed. Although he was scared, he was being stupid right now. Karkat was right. Again.   
  
“Sol?”   
  
Sollux picked his head up from the table suddenly, the other two having looked round, although Terezi really didn't need to. Of course, speak of the devil and he shall come. In a panic, he stood up ready to bolt, but his legs knew better. They stayed frozen on the spot.  
  
“Eridan.” He muttered, trying to seem normal, “Hey, haven't theen you around today.”   
  
Eridan rolled his eyes, walking closer to the table, “I should be sayin' the same to you. I felt like I w-was ditched!” he said, melodramatically, gestures and all. Sollux just smile and rolled his eyes, too, which seemed to make the two of them relax some.   
  
“So about this w-weekend. I'll pick you up at five. W-We'll go to the mowies, and I'll ewen w-walk you home.”  
  
“Are you going to walk me acroth the beach at thunthet athwell? Mithter Ampora, pleathe, we're moving too fatht.” Sollux chuckled, crossing his arms loosely over his chest, feeling a lot more relaxed than he did before. Well, it _was_ only Eridan. That could be a bad thing.   
  
Eridan laughed though, shaking his head and giving Sollux a huge grin, “I promise none a that sappy bullshit.” Sollux almost felt his heart pop at that moment. So he just smiled, hummed and grabbed his stuff, putting his bag around his shoulder.  
  
“Tho I'll thee you thith weekend.” He said casually, walking around the table and towards Eridan, as it was the only way he could go to hide out in his next class until it started. He wasn't, however, expecting the kiss to the cheek when he passed his up-and-coming date. His hand instantly went to his cheek where it was kissed and turned to Eridan, “Haven't you ever heard of 'Don't kith on the firtht date'?!” he blurted, looking as angry as a hamster, cheeks going a slight pink and travelling up to the tip of his ears. Eridan just laughed, patting the embarrassed Sollux on the shoulder before moving past him, being the one to leave first.  
  
“See you, Sol!” He called back, leaving Sollux to stand there staring at his back and drilling holes into it. Finally though, he let his hand slip from his cheek, ears perking up a little at the sound of Karkat chuckling to himself.  
  
“Oh thtop laughing. I'll thee you two later.” He muttered, still angry. Karkat and Terezi gave there own parting farewells and continued doing … Whatever they did when Sollux wasn't there. Maybe they sucked face? That made Sollux shiver walking down the hallway and out of the cafeteria.   
  
Maybe some hard work will get his mind off of things. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, short chapter, but things are running sort of slow right now in the story c: Thank you for reading!


	3. A Puddle in the Road

Whoever invented the term 'hard work' was a genius. Literally. To be able to get into the mindset of fulfilling a job so efficiently, so enthusiastically to the point you forget your own fatigue. It simply was the work of a genius. One could go hours upon hours with constant hard work, and it all paid off in the end. A sense of euphoria after the job is finished once and for all. It all becomes worthwhile when you get to take a step back and see what you've helped create.

It's at times like this, Sollux can really appreciate what he does and how he can make a change, all the while working with other people. He took another sip of his energy drink, then quickly got his fingers to work again, typing up a code. As well as a job, he also took this as a hobby, continuously challenging himself to make a bigger, better code, one that would surely get him noticed.

He was brought out of this state of mind when his phone went off, signalling a text. Yet, he didn't pick it up straight away. Instead, he leaned back, hands together and arms up and _stretched_. And it felt amazing. He felt his back pop in several different places, and even made a small noise of content, “Boy, didn't _that_ feel like a dream.” He muttered to himself. He looked towards his phone and picked it up, reading his most recent text. It was from Eridan. That was surprising.

> _'_ _sorry if i wwoke you up. i just wwant you to knoww howw amazing it feels to havve plans for a date wwith you. see you tomorroww sol'_

Woke up? Looking at the time, it _was_ past two in the morning. Any normal person would have gone to bed already, especially when said anonymous person had plans the next day. The screen on his phone started fading, and he quickly thumbed it to keep it alight.

The question was, should he reply? With it being so late, maybe Eridan wasn't expecting a reply? One could only hope. After a few more minutes debating in his head, he pressed the button to lock his phone and placed it back on the desk. That killed his drive for his passion about hard work. He saved his progress, stood up and retreated to the bedroom, not forgetting to pocket his phone.

What day was it? Friday. Technically Saturday, but it still felt like Friday. He thought about those things as he shuffled into his room and fell face first onto the mattress, sighing. His room was always so relaxing. But it also held all of his misery, and the memories of them.

As he lay there, he thought about what tomorrow might bring. That was what he always thought about right after sleep. _What will tomorrow bring and how will I deal with it?_ It was a question nobody should think about, but when you're Sollux, you always try and make plans. Keeping to one track makes things run smoothly. You can't just skip a stage to where you want to be.

He shifted onto his side and closed his eyes. Tomorrow was D-Day. Date day. What would Eridan do? What would he say? Is he really so content with having one date? This was hopeless. He sat up, feeling exhausted yet unable to sleep. Picking himself up from the bed, he shuffled his way into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. Which one, which one …

“There you are.” He picked out a small bottle of Melatonin, taking about two pills and swallowing them dry. They were small and easy to swallow, so he sort of got lazy with the whole taking it with water thing. He moved back to the bedroom, taking out his phone and throwing it onto the bed as he took off his jeans. Soon he climbed into bed and sighed, pulling the blankets up around him and relaxing.

–

A soft light broke through the slightly parted curtains, the sound of cars going by and dogs from next door being rowdy as ever all didn't wake Sollux who slept blissfully. That is, until he turned over and a loud knocking resonated through the entire house, making him practically jump out of bed. That was a bit loud to be the door, didn't it? Look down, his fist clenched the sheets and there lay his phone on the hard wooden floor.

“Ugh …” He lay himself back down until knocking was heard again, and up he was. He slipped himself out of bed, locating his jeans and quickly pulling them on, all the while awkwardly hopping to the front door.

“I'm coming, I'm coming. I'm-” he opened the door to reveal Eridan Ampora, “Eridan?” He looked all fancifully dressed as well, or at least more fancy than Sollux had ever seen him. What was today … Friday? Technically Sat- “ _Fuck_.”

Eridan tilted his head, watching Sollux have an inner explosion, “Sol?” he asked, making Sollux look up from his own demise.

“Eridan, I thorta … Jutht woke up. Come inthide.” He moved away from the door, padding his way to his room again. He wasn't much of a good host, but he trusted Eridan not to look through his computer and find all his porn. A joke, but still. He moved into his bathroom from there, looking in the mirror and just thinking _terrible_.

He grabbed for his brush, taming the wild beast that he called hair, and held it down with hairspray. It'd have to do, considering how late he got up. As for his clothes … He didn't own fancy clothes, but clean clothes that look decent would do. So he moved back into his bedroom, throwing on a new pair of jeans, black, and an old band t-shirt. He complimented the look with a beanie hat and his watch. Oh, and his glasses.

He emerged from the bedroom and moved back to the main room, seeing Eridan having made himself comfortable on the couch, but he stood up once he saw Sollux enter fully dressed and ready.

“Ready to go?” Sollux asked, rubbing the back of his neck. He _did_ feel bad about probably _ruining_ their date. Well, it was still good actually. Eridan moved over to Sollux and smiled, nodding his head.

“If the princess is done pow-wdering her nose.” Sollux gave him a punch to the arm for that, and they soon left the confines of the house, Eridan grumbling as he held his now probably bruised arm. Served him right. Sollux smiled though. Nothing had really changed between the two of them.

Maybe this could work out for the best.

A short bus ride into the town, Eridan and Sollux walked side by side, walking past endless amounts of possible restaurants they could go to. Actually, Sollux was expecting Eridan to go for the Starbucks on the corner a little ways back.

“Where are we going? I know I thaid you could thet up everything, but I didn't actually think you'd walk patht a Thtarbuckth. Or that restaurant. Or ...” He waited until they passed it, “That one.”  
  


Eridan shook his head, a smile on his face until his face showed he finally processed the information, “Hey! I don't _alw-ways_ go to Starbucks and sandw-wich shops!” Eridan yelled, face flushing a slight pink. But he quickly straightened himself out as if he never had the momentary explosion, “W-We are goin' somew-where _I_ find to have a feast for _true_ gentleman. Somewhere where class is appreciated.”

Sollux could only watch Eridan as he grinned and did all these unneeded extra movements to further exaggerate his point. Sollux finally interrupted though, once he found a spot he could squeeze into, “That'th all fine and dandy, _thir_ , but my clath only goeth up to McDonaldth level.” He said, shoving his hands into his pockets, “I'm not even drethed for a fanthy ath restaurant.”

“Ah, w-well here comes the surprise.” And they finally stopped in front of what seemed to be a really expensive suit store.

“No fucking way.” Sollux' eyes were wide open as he looked up at the store front. Inside he could see suits, both tailored and relaxed, fashionable and business, “You're … We're _shopping here?!”_ He couldn't help the surprise. This store was probably more expensive than his _house_.

Eridan just grinned and nodded, chuckling a little after, “Yes. I'm gettin' you a casual suit.” He further explained, though there wasn't much explanation needed.

Before Sollux had any arguments about it, Eridan grabbed him by his elbow and dragged him in, Sollux fumbling a little and making himself look like a fool in front of rich bastards. The inside was even worse than the outside in terms of what he could afford. But he couldn't look at any of the on show suits as Eridan was still walking him through the store.

They were pretty much at the back of the store near the changing rooms when Eridan finally let them stop. A woman emerged from behind a wall, surprised that there were visitors.

“Sorry for making you wait. How can I help?” she asked, looking between Eridan and Sollux.

“W-Well, w-we've come here for him.” And he gently pulled on Sollux to come forward, letting go of his elbow, which Sollux rubbed awkwardly. This was _not_ a setting he was used to, nor has he ever had to be in. Meagrely, he waved. Nothing more. Eridan did the rest of the talking, though Sollux wasn't really listening.

Instead, Sollux' hearing had zoned in on various mutterings from men and women behind him. His posture slumped a little, slowly without being conscious of it, as if his muscles were tensing and making him curl up towards himself. This wasn't good. He had to get out of here. His feet wouldn't move though, spurred on by the thought of walking back through the store alone for no apparent reason.

A man's laugh rang in his ears. Sollux almost felt sick. His whole body felt on fire, shaking slightly. He closed his eyes for little comfort. When would it end?

Eridan shook him forcefully once, snapping Sollux out of … Whatever it was. Sollux' eyes were wide, his breathing heavy and his hands gripping tightly onto Eridan's clothes. He could only assume that he automatically did that when Eridan shook him.

“Sol.” Eridan said firmly, yet he looked worried. Sollux could only stand there, as they were, staring at Eridan before finally he looked away, muttering quietly, “Can we go?” His voice came out cracked, breathless, even though he was breathing fine by that time. From the corner of his eye, he saw Eridan nod twice. He didn't pay attention to his date after that before walking with him out of the store. What a bad date. 


End file.
